HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TEACHER?
by Jeff Foxworthy
1. You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.
*Oh yes!!! Even if it’s a whisper…then they look at you like “how did you know!?”
2. You get a secret thrill out of laminating something.
3. You walk into a store and hear the words “It’s Ms/Mr.> _________” and know you have been spotted.
*yep! Then I get… “I didn’t know you come here?!”
4. You have 25 people that accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another.
*Especially since I teach 1st grade. It doesn’t baother me though.
5. You can eat a multi-course meal in under twenty minutes.
*Well, actually, I eat all throughout the day. I have a toaster, electric kettle, mini-fridge, and microwave in my classroom.
6. You’ve trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day: lunch and planning period.
*ugh…but i have a restroom in my classroom and STILL only go at those times.
7. You start saving other people’s trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.
*I do this, too, and my friends do it for me also.
8. You believe the teachers’ lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.
* *side eye* shhhhhhhe, don’t tell anyone!
9. You want to slap the next person who says “Must be nice to work 8 to 3 and have summers off.”
*I KNOW RIGHT!!!!
10. You believe chocolate is a food group.
*huh?! I thought it was….
11. You can tell if it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.
12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says “Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.”
*Don’t say thaaaaaaat!!!
13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.
*Yeah, and I do!!!
14. You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.
*Not so much! but I DO spray EVERYTHING down with Lysol and bleach.
15. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own needs.
*Last year I spent over $2,000.00
17. You can’t pass the school supply aisle without getting at least five items!
*I purposefully aviod those aisles…or at least I try to.
18. You ask your friends if the left hand turn he just made was a “good choice or a bad choice.”
19. You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils.
20. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer and finally,
*I am!!! Have you ever sniffed it AFTER you put it on you hands?! mmmmm…
21. You understand instantaneously why a child behaves a certain way after meeting his or her parents.
*Oh, dear GOD! yes yes yes!!!
If a child can’t learn the way we teach, maybe we should teach the way they learn.”